IAAPA Havoc January 1, 2000
Volume 3, Number  11
 
 
 
 

Planes dropping to the earth.  Computers crashing around the world.
 
 
 
 
 

                                                             Y2K?
 
 

         Close.  It's
 
 



Millennium Havoc







Notes From the Front


Game 6988  SoTragic (Axis) vs. Crusader

GERMANY 6

--> Witty propaganda goes here <--
PURCHASE
2 arm-->Ger 10 . . .

UK 6

Response to witty propaganda goes here.
purchase with 22
7 inf in UK . . .
 

EK ~  (Insert sarcastic comment)


Game 7116  Rewster (Axis) vs Brutus

US 1
Americans attack a leftover German sub w/ 3 Ftrs & 1 Bmr while buying 2
Trannies for E US.  Just a little mop up action right?

Commander Mueller picked himself up from the floor.  That last depth
charge had been close, very close.  But now … silence.  It had been over
2 hours ago when he had taken U-122 to the surface to recharge his
batteries.  (That was the sub the British caught and got the Enigma code
book from, wasn't it?)  Mueller could still see the horror in the young
ensign's face when he reported sighting 3 USAF Thurderbolt squadrons and
a B17 formation heading his way.  Bomb after bomb landed around U-122.
But here it was, 2 hours
later, and he was alive!

"Surface"  ordered Mueller.
Steiner looked at Mueller with surprise.  "What if da Americans are
dere?"
Mueller gulped.  What if the Americans were there?  He had no choice.
"Surface."

Steiner stepped to the conning tower as the sub righted itself.
"Russian sub 500 meters to starboard!"  screamed Steiner.
"Dive Dive Dive".
Seconds later they could hear the Russian torpedos stream by the side of
the sub.  Then …. Silence.

Mueller looked his watch.  2 hours 15 since the Russian had been
sighted.
"Surface."
"Yavol" responded Steiner.

It was dark now.  Mueller radioed Berlin.
"U-122 reporting.  Low on supplies.  Request permission to return to
port."

Admiral Raeder was standing by the wireless when the Mueller report came
in.  He looked at the huge map on the wall. Intelligence indicated there
was a convoy forming outside Baltimore.  It must be sunk.

"Request denied.  Proceed to Baltimore and engage USA convoy."

Steiner grabbed the mike from Mueller's hand.  "That's a suicide
mission!"  Mueller nodded his head to Steiner and replied.  "Yavol.
Long live the Fatherland."

Dawn the next day.  It had been a long duel with the Americans.  He had
finally sunk the second transport ship.  He looked up at Steiner.
"Report?"

"Diesel is gone.  1 torpedo left.  Rations for 2 days.  But that won't
be an issue, there is only enough battery power for 3 hours."

Mueller nodded and made the final entry in U-122's log book.  Long Live
the Fatherland.


Game 7144 guns4all (Axis) vs. AxisSpec

The operative word there was "little." The Krauts got shellacked. 7 ARM
scurry back to E Eur having killed only 4 Commies... I had hoped to kill
all of your INF and perhaps an ARM or two... The FTR lands in Germany,
greeted by rancid veggie throwing civilians weary of Wermacht ineptness.

EK ~ Yuck!  I hate those rancid civilians.


EK ~ Since I received the following from approximately 6000 different
sources, I guess I better include it. :)

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has
been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As
part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year
phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'.  Sertainly,
sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.  Also, the hard 'c' will
be replaced with 'k.' Not only will this klear up konfusion, but
typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like
'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful, and they would
go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
'th' by 'z' and 'w' by 'v'. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be
dropd from vords kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of kors; be
aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a
reli sensibl riten styl.  Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and
evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.  Ze drem vil finali kum
tru.

                                       -author unknown


Knews & Knotes


There is a new webpage devoted to rating the CD-ROM's generals, aka the
CD's Artificial Intelligence.  The individual who compiled this guide
obviously has a lot of free time on his hands.....like most of us....
Personally, I'd rather play against a real opponent when playing the
CD.  It's not quite as embarrassing to lose to another IAAPA member as
it is to lose to the AI's shell shocked generals.  (Ask micwil...he
won't play them anymore.)
                                  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
As a public service to its members, IAAPA is providing a Y2K tech check
at http://www.axisandallies.net/test.html
                                  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The votes have all been tabulated, and A&A Player of the Second
Millennium goes to Rewstr!  Top finishers included everyone else who's
ever beaten me, except HighCmmdr because he's just lucky.
                                  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
IAAPA's 4th Annual Convention is coming soon.  Next year I will offer
Castle Shannon as the host site.  Afterall, who wants Cubs fans,
half-naked women, or noisy waterfalls distracting them from their game?
Wouldn't a cool, damp dungeon be better?
                                  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I've discovered something recently in my various PBEM games.  There are
some really funny guys out there.  Some of my recent opponents who've
cracked me up include Blackwatch, guns4all, and EnderL.  Either I've
been very lucky lately, or my opps just try harder....one of the
greatest bennies of being the Minister of Havoc.
                                  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
And this just in:

The IAAPA government would like to extend the most exciting of
salutations to the membership of the best and fully Y2K compliant
Axis and Allies Association in the world.  We wish you the best of
celebrations on the first day of this new year and luck in all your
ongoing games.

IAAPA Executive, Senate, Legislature and Judiciary

ATTENTION READERS:  Please add "unless you are playing against Errant
Knight." to the end of the preceding message.  Thank you.


Squire Speaketh



Note:  Sohoa steps in for the vacationing Squire

To all of the A&A membership and all of the royal robes:

I put to you a question and a suggestion regarding Magic 84 .  I believe
that it would make for better gaming that when a player sends his money
update he also places the magic update # for the other player to see;
kind of like saying 'check' in chess.  I have noticed that some players
do and some do not.  I think that it would be a welcome addition to the
game's format.  Some of us play multiple games and can very easily miss
this game ending condition while in a winning position.

happy holidays to all
Sohoa

EK ~ Actually, this is already in IAAPA's rules.  I usually don't
include it, however, unless my Axis forces are driving.  I don't enjoy
telling my Allied opponent that I'm only making 52 IPC's per round...


Knight Muse


A new millennium.  Wow.  Hard to believe.  When I was a wee child
still soiling my armor, and first figured out how old I'd be in the year
2000, I couldn't imagine ever being that old.

I still can't.

I guess this is a great time for some serious New Year's Resolutions.

1.  I WON'T lose to Rewstr this year.

2.  I WON'T attack the British transport in the Labrador Sea with only
one German fighter.

3.  I WILL read every email which I receive from micwil.

4.  I WON'T call anyone a moron simply because they insist that the new
millennium isn't until 2001 even though the number changed from 19 to 20
and everywhere you look you see the word 'millennium' for the last 12
months and even the grocery stores are selling glasses which should be
marked down now since New Year's Eve was last night but the glasses were
made for that evening and they even say Millennium on them but the
people who say the millennium doesn't start until next year figure that
those glasses are supposed to be bought now and stored until next year
and that everyone else in the world is wrong but they are right and it
doesn't matter that they only know 3 other people in the entire world
who share their opinion.

5.  I WILL be brief.

6.  I WILL enjoy playing every game I play, win or lose.

I don't want to over do it, so I better quit right there.  At least
there's ONE easy resolution on my list this year.

Happy New Year to all of you.

EK


Knight Mail


To the  Knight and his Squire and all of his round table.

I just wanted to drop u a line and tell u that u guys do a great job
with the news letter .  I would never want to take on the responsibility
of such a great undertaking. I do not have the time or the mind to do
so.You are safe from me and do not have to watch your backs. I will
continue to be a guest editorialist if you would let me -- could be
fun-- I seem to always have something to say, some good, some
controversial, some just empty talk.

I will accept any suggestions that u may have and will continue to send
in my two cents for as long as I can afford to.

                                 ~ Olyn
                                    Sohoa

EK ~ Thanks Olyn...but I where do you get the idea that one can't do
this job and still be totally irresponsible?  (Ask Mrs. Knight.)  Please
continue to submit your 2 cents.  I can keep postponing my job hunt with
your help, but rolling all these pennies is a real pain.  Could you
please send dollars instead?


Where can I purchase this Hasbro CD_Rom?

                                  ~ Steve Lerch

EK ~ According to my sources most stores no longer carry the original
A&A CD because it is included in the recently released add-on, "Iron
Blitz".


Recon Squad


IAAPA Havoc has a severe shortage of intelligence and desperately needs
reconnaissance volunteers.  Please include your IAAPA alias with all
contributions.  Space limitations (and reader's attention spans) hinder
the chances of extremely long submissions being printed.  Less is more!
All intelligence reports should be forwarded to the S-3 Officer at:

havoc@axisandallies.net
 

Errant Knight
 
 

IAAPA Havoc Contributors:

SoTragic
Rewstr
Sohoa
6000 others

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