~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~THE HAVOCEUR~~ Volume 1 Number 1 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was a Dark and Stormy Night... a dusty Quixande enters the Halls of A&A. Finding the unlucky MopBoy polishing floors, Q wastes no time assaulting the integrity of the great Lord Vagrunt, and his loyal followers... "Would you, mopboy, truly rather serve those poor wrinkled, bottomfeeding trenchdirt eaters???" Lord Vee, upon hearing the commotion, enters and "smacks Quixande on the back of the head with a rolled up copy of the 2nd Edition Rulebook!!!"... And that's how our GAME OF THE MONTH begins, warriors. Oh?? Haha! Yes!!!! I AM shamelessly promoting mine own steamily propagandized game! But, I DEFY you to find a better one for its bright plumage and grand scale! Understand that your good Lord Vagrunt is battling for nothing less than the Honor of the Club. Scoff, would you??? Oh Ho HO! Just watch what happens next. Experience its ultrapotence over in my BATTLE CHAMBERS, under the "Club News and Discussion" area, in the rather unnassuming folder "new fish talk or walk?". We're just moving into Round 3. Also of related interest (unless of course you are the hapless Poofie, aka. PFC JMeyer... }:) is the "hero needed" folder. C'mon! Drop on by my toasty new quarters. There's still plenty of good seating in the balcony where my Guardian is slinging frothy banter and ale, and where you can throw in your shiniest two cents. }:) If you DARE. *:D ************************************** But on to more weighty matters... Permit me to announce the first annual ~~WAR IN THE DESERT~~ Yes! We're talking Face-To-Face games in Las Vegas, Nevada! Plans are still under construction, but we are busily laying the groundwork for the Big Bash to happen over the Memorial Day Weekend, May 24-26. While nothing is finalized, I hear it upon good authority, that "wins" during this time will count double and "losses" will only count for half... and, hahaha, that our keynote speaker, Lord Vagrunt has also accepted a challenge by YoursTruly to a bout with real swords, (sans masks!) but we'll see if he actually shows. *:D So, keep an ear to your mailbox, FTFers, for further late-breaking news on this Gala Event! ************************************** And now, what everyone's been waiting for, the ***News from the Trenches*** I've been up and down and over and out and I know one thing... you guys are tryin to kill each other!!!! *:D But in the interim, you do appear to be having some fun at it. Here's a look at some of the highlights: SEX IN THE TRENCHES: Yup yup. It's there. Alas, the fantasies abound! :D ************************************ JPERICLES, GM in our now infamous game between ~V~ & ~Q~ takes the cake... Mexico SZ (TRN US) w/ Sub, 2BB, CV HI SZ "hah-ree-wood! exclaims the slightly confused japanese look out and the entire combined fleet moves in to attack a tuna trawler ....................... trawler sunk the u-boat captain declares a great victory! double rounds of saki for all and boasts he'll "be making love to lana turner on the white house lawn by new year" ****************************************************************************** **************** another standout over in Game 1226: the GM:MarkBa@fbcs.fujitsu.com writes this tenderbit... "As heavily armed American troops storm ashore in Finland they are greeted by tall blonde women who wish only to express their tremendous gratefulness at being liberated from the Nazis dogs." ******************************************** Ah, a recurring theme do EYE see? Or this one by ChrMcD... "The Americans enter Paris. Women throw themselves at the soldiers feet. "Thank you Yanks, Thank you!" Haha! Rewstr answers... "Von Rudstandt “We must counter-attack the Americans in Normandy! The French women are being brutalized by the those damned Yanks!” *************************************** Help! Oh, heeeelpp!.... ...oh? heh heh. *:) Nevermind meee... just getting caught up in the moment... :) but there are other noteworthy emotions out there... Our MOST EMOTIONAL PLAYER definitely was HOCYGOALY in game 1050 when he wrote... "I just wanted to say that this is by far the most exciting game i have ever played, thanks to both of you for making it so enjoyable...... ::getting choked up....:: ::wiping tears from eyes:: on with the war!!!!!!!!!!" Gosh, Hocy. :) Here's a tissue. ************************************************ Or there's the POOREST SPORT RobP101 for this elegant gesture of surrender... "Well, even you guys know that there is no way to recover from this one... ...It's been fun (NOT). See all later. Rob p.s. Oh yea......Axis Surrender." ************************************* ...but what about meee, RobbiePea? Would even I know??? :D Then, to return your faith in the goodness of all mankind is the GM OF THE MONTH award, which I bestow upon the very fine LORD PEZ for the enormous effort above and beyond the call, while handfeeding a pair of neophytes in Game 1272. I would go so far as to suggest that everyone who has the honor of performing this noble duty take a good look at Pez's opening letter and use it as a model. (or just plagarize it blatantly, like me!) It's a classic. Thanks, Pace! *************************** Next, a quick look at my picks for the monthly MEMBER'S PROFILE QUOTES Ya know, there's alot of really good mottos out there, guys... some, very reverent and some, very irreverent... Think I'll give ya one of each. Guess which is which... <|:D MSU COREY - "Those who would trade liberty for safety, deserve neither." and Thanos2 - "I don't want the world, I just want your half !!!" ********************************************* And of course there's the ODDITIES OF WAR You know, the stuff you don't see everyday, like... KevinD784's initial German purchase of TWO (count 'em) Industrial Complexes for EastEurope and Ukraine in Game 1275... or our illustrious Todd Vomit's most recent bid of 2 German transports in the West Spanish SZ... or the back-to-back Tech Rolls by BinoRVC in Game 1190 where, in J4 and US4, his sassy dice roll no less than FIVE Technical Advances (Heavy Bombers for each!) for the players out of a total of 8 trys... then, while mlaidlow@vicnet.net, in Game 1291, bid the highest I've seen with 35 big ones!?!... the highest *winning* bid went easily to DavRutley in Game 1290 with his 24ipcs while the loser, PMONGO3 barely scraped by with 25!!! Hahaha!...and lastly I gotta mention Beaverhut's spunky little Russian fighter for wandering so far away from her home, landing first on the US carrier in the New Guinea SZ and being last spotted in Madagascar for refueling! Na zdorovia, little girl. @--\-'-/-,------ May you and your brave pilot Find the way home. * * * As for me, I will cease not my wanderings throughout A&A Land, cheering the just and banishing the villianous and pursuing the exquisite and performing the daring, chivalrous deeds that would befit my new title, bestowed upon my shoulders by our most generous and wise Lord Vagrunt, that of Knight Errant. You may now address me as *Sir* Quixande. At your service. ::deepest bow:: @ Axi s&Al lies@A xis&Allies @Axis&Allie s@Axis&Allies @Axis&Allies@A xis&Allies@Axis&A llies@Axis&Allies@A xis&Allies@Axis&Allies @Axis&Allies@Axis&Allie s@Axis&Allies@Axis&Allies @Axis&Allies@Axis&Allies@A ||| And to you, glorious warriors, May you live all the days of your lives!* Happiest of Holidays, ~Q~ * j swift