~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~THE HAVOCEUR~~ Volume 1 Number 3 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ I want my... I want my... I want my IPCs!!! (with apologies to Dire Straits) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ and prmitch@ ! ! ::amidst wild dancing, q picks up letter atop the heap on her desk:: Hmmm. One from a new member, Teran Solo... "Now that I know you're on the loose out there, I have a new goal to shoot for!" ::giggle:: Ah! He goes on to explain... "...I knew that games were tracked for ranking purposes, but I had no idea they were also reviewed for creative content!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ::grinning mischeviously, she picks up another:: " Not a bad review, but for some serious historical perspectives, check out game 1487 where the Allies, played by yours truly, educate the audience with salient facts about great moments in WW II history. -GODOFLAW " Thanks, Gotta! Sorry to hear about your less than perfect condition. *:D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well, I'm just a girl Living in the world But don't let me Out of your sight.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Okay okay, I'll get serious... :D ~~HAIL WARRIORS!!~~ Welcommen, old timers and neophytes alike, to the Havoc of the Grandest A&A Club in the world!!! It's time for another installment in the Saga Of the AOL Axis & Allies Clubl!! You have been busy little destructive units!!! Man. And my fantastic new assistant, Primethius, has been pouring through the folders this month, presenting me with so much great stuff that it's been painful to pare it down. Thanks, PrimoMike! It hurts so good! Let's get'er movin... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ GAME OF THE MONTH While this one *has* already been tucked away in the archives, it bears a second look. The players are none other than our punk rockin', Todd Vomit and the effusive, energetic HOCYGOALY! Unusual in it's depth, this game goes 24 rounds and when games start going looong, odd thingies start to happen. Like in this... TV's Japanese forces take Venezuela and ultimately move into Brazil, setting up a huge camp oe'r the cliffs of Rio... 17 inf, 7 arm, 2 ftr, IC and AAGun at its zenith! More than just maneuvers, tho... Hocy can be found waxing poetic, like here, about... an earlier....hmm, game... "Churchill, distaining the "soft underbelly" goes for the throat, captures E Eur... (probably what US & UK should have done in the 1st place in the Axis & Allies prototype game in the late '30's & early '40's)" :) Hocy definitely has a... unique perspective... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Which brings me to others whose drums beat... as they would.. }:) PROPAGANDI-R-US Witness this opening by DesertFox69 against the Cavalrydog: "Behold, my dog eared opponent. THIS . . . is your ENEMY. Not the alpha, but the omega. I can be defeated, but I never die. Destroyer of worlds, conqueror of generals, I have defeated all, lost to none. I play only the best, dog the rest." :) Oh, sooooo tempting, but methinks I'll just let that one stand. :) And his eloquent opponent, Cavalrydog was no less stingy with his, shall we say, persuasions? "I have braced myself; got my rabbits foot, my shamrock and my pyramid.............OK Q, let ‘er rip!! -Cav" Which, I might add, was a picture that pleased his DiceGod to no end, but was unable to sway those little, razor-edged nastyboys... ~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ Or check out this passel of Axis smokescreens: DavRutley in 1290 writes: "Do not be alarmed, we Japanese just need a little space, please go about your business: Tojo Out." ...then the next move, hahaha... "See, we Japanese are satisfied with our territorial gains, I promise we will not go any farther, just continue to ignore us and we will all live together in peace. Tojo Out." Um, right. :) and in 1456 G5 Imijaz declares Purchase w/8ipc:1 inf, 1 AA Prepare the counterattack! Combat: none...because we are preparing the counterattack Noncombat: none...still preparing the counter attack Update: Germany 21 inf and 1 AA looking fiercly prepared to counterattack." Go, JazMAN! then in 1298, WJA8l writes for Germany#12 an interesting Non-Com: All women and children under 10 years old---------- to the bomb shelters All children 10 and older---report to Army HQ to pick up your rifle and 10 bullets. All retired men------go to the front. All crippled men----go to the front. All blind men---------have someone lead you to the front. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And lastly, the scene: Game 1356, Germany One... CRAZYFUST, after attacking all points of the compass states, "Of course, none of this is intended in any way as an offense to Stalin or his Russian People. Hitler is simply attempting to the land which is rightfully German for the betterment of all mankind. He fully intends to continue to honor the historically long and prosperous peace which has existed between the new countries. In no way is the actions of the German military to be perceived as an act of aggression by the outside world." The Germans? Aggressive? Naah. No way, man. *:D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gloom! Despair! And agony on me... THE RISKY SPORT OF A&A One cannot be too careful, when deep within its bowels... Witness JohnPin569 in 1386, "I'm going to send you my doctor bill. I was in mid swallow of a large mouthful of Diet Coke when I read the results of the Egypt battle and nearly choked to death. Still Choking in New Orleans, John" Or this heartrending reaction by the winner(!) to the end of a looong well-fought game against the relentless PaintBllr. 1141. "WHAT!?! It's over!?! What do you guys expect me to do with the rest of my life?" HoaryFying, eh, marich@? :) Fearest not, vigilant victor! There will be other games. Always. And another. Tho dangers remain... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ...which brings us to FEMALES OF THE SPECIES :D Here, the wily Rewstr's daunting AxisMachine chalks up another mark in 1317, by offering these surrender terms accepted by his opponent, including: "For each Russian Soldier - 1 case of Dark German Beer & 1 bottle of Saki" "For Each Officer - 1 Fraulein of his choice" Tch! *:D Just one?? (per day??? :) ...those dudes *are* heavy drinkers, y'know. ~~~~~ And then there's this odd... transcript of PFC JMeyer's allies in 1317, pulled from the airwaves and descrambled, so the exact... translation is somewhat suspect... US 4: The White House maid overhears a strange conversation coming from the Oval Office... "What to do, what to do?" "The Japanese are out of control, 46 ipcs indeed!!!. The Germans are building a fortress in Europe! WE MUST STOP THE AXIS... but alas, that's a job we'll leave the British... hee hee hee..." "Are you listening Hillary, it's me Eleanor, are you listening???" ~~ ~~~ ~~ ::shrugging innocently:: *:D I don't explain em, I just reads em! * ** * ** * ** * ...I wanna beee the giirrrl with the most cake... * ** * Hahaha! But, well, okay, the cake in this forum again goes to the game with the name of the Candiman who can. Our LORD PEZ in 1406 has the tireless Eva Braun once again in the fore, er, front. o:) >>>>Scene opens on a Honolulu beach<<<< ::CandiMan, reclining in a chaise lounge, composes a letter to Hitler. Eva, her nordic skin bronzed by the Pacific sun, frolics topless in the waves. Silently the Japanese armada sails out to combat off the US coast. Standing tall, Eva waves. Japanese sailors wave back:: Not too horrible, you'd think, for Axis morale? :) But I gotta say... the Beanie goes to the GM of the same highly publicized bout, jkeip@, when an irresistable urge seizes him and the control of the Candiman's mysterious nemesis during the die roll over a Eastern European battlefield... ...oh! But... you have not yet had the *pleasure* of meeting... ("`-' '-/") .___..--' ' "`-._ Tigre. }:) ô _ ô ) `-. ( ) .`-.__. `) (_Y_.) ' ._ ) `._` ; `` -. .-' _.. `--'_..-_/ /--' _ .' , ( i l ),-'' ( l i),' ( ( ! .-' You will. Sooner than you know... ~ ~ ~ heaven's just a rumor she dispells as she walks me thru the nicest parts of hell -nin ~ ~ ~ ""You COULD have given them the wrong location for the battles! How dare you question my understanding of the grand art!" Tigre swiftly pulls a Luger from inside her tight fitting leather flight jacket and just before the second man receives his bullet, he has time to wonder how on earth the lady managed to hide the weapon in such a way as it was unnoticed until too late..."" And my apologies to Q if AYE have overstepped my bounds by taking brief control of the uncontrollable feline... -jkeip" Apologies... uh, noted, JK. }:D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ POTPOURRI OF WAR Haha! 1505. Gator8em offers up this recipe, inspired, no doubt, from the trenches: "[My opponent] has surrendered denying me the opportunity to pound germany into a puddle of nazis basted in schnapps and vodka. my favorite recipe i might add. Cook slowly basting in fighters and bombers occassionally, spiced with a few amphib assualts until tender. Then out of the oven into the broiler browned every so lightlly with touch of battleship salvos then served cold with a light mustard (gas) sauce." Haha! Should render enough chow to feed an army! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ...Ya gotta keep'em seperATED.... ~ ~ ~ The conscientious GM, CKevinW, knows this tune well from 1597... "With two screennames kind of similar, I'll try to be very careful in making sure I keep you separated." To whom, you ask, must Kevin act with such extreme measures?? Why...Boingomongo, you know! MrBoingo and Bjbmongo. Here's to vigilance, fine sir! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ DID WE MISS YOU? :) Have you written great stuff that's not showing up here? :) Y'know, with the huge growth of our cool club, the task of finding all the fun in the folders is becoming ever more work... and while we shall never cease our explorations for the creme de la creme, and can never fit in all, we would invite you to send your favorite clips to me, Quixande the Errant, for a better chance of being... Abused! Misquoted! or (my fave) Tweested beyond recognition!!!! *:D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oh, hahaha, which reminds me, I don't want to forget to tell everyone to have a delightful April First. May it be a day filled with Foolin'! * * * Quick Las Vegas Update: Well, enough about that and this... though I do wish to mention that the upcoming Face To Face convention here... the Memorial Day weekend's ~WAR IN THE DESERT~ producers are gearing up for its media BLITZ very soon and plan to make it an outrageous time for all who can attend. Rooms can still be had for cheap. The turnout looks to be impressive. Hah! Keep one good eye on yer mailbox for more info along these lines, and again, if you ever have any questions you can always catch up with me email, IM, or in the rowdy ol' A&A Wargamers HQ! Which brings me to... Upcoming A&A News: Hmm. :) I think I'll just tell you to look forward to some Major Improvements which are soon forthcoming, many of which will be supporting the online gaming that is now a reality. Details... to follow. >:D I can't wait. :) * * * Well, ::sigh:: my work here is done. I can turn up the music and go back into WarMode!!! ::crush crush:: * * * And so, my favorite combateurs, with no further falderal, I bid you Happy Havoc. ~Q~ Knight Errant AOL A&A Club