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THE HAVOC CRIER
Grab Bag




Game # 8622 ShenFung, AXIS. v.s. frogman10, ALLIES.

* SZ held w/ 1 trn
* Oh, for cryin' out loud! 4 sixes in a row! And I'm supposed to
believe this is random. @#$%*!!! Enemy must have been on top of Kilimanjaro. Tank was shooting straight up. Shells first came down on the infantry then atop itself. Geesh! Enjoy.
* Syria occupied without resistance.
* 1 accountant/pedestrian killed while on the way to the bank to
deposit that day's IPC. German bomb maker stood against the wall and shot twice just to make sure.

S.S. Yep!! Syria was empty otherwise this move would have been a total washout.



Game # 8635 GroeFaZ, AXIS. v.s. Col. Hogan, ALLIES, 2001 Spring Classic

How do you do this? Somehow you must have made a pact with the dice gods! Admit it :-) !

I give up. The combination of Germany 1 and Japan 1 is more than I can bear. This is ridiculous. Why do I have this kind of dice every time we meet? I don't know. But someday you will have to give me a revanche!

S.S. A "revanche". Is that where the cowboys and the cattle come from? Like the song "Home, Home, on the revanche" The Col. strikes again.



S.S.: I enjoyed this so much the first time we printed it, that I thought we would reprint it for those of you who might have missed it the first time. Enjoy!!!!

It's 1944, the Battle of the Bulge in Europe. An American squad has been cut off behind enemy lines. They're surrounded. As night falls, a new recruit finds the sergeant who's acting commander. "Sarge," he says, "I don't know how it happened, but in the fighting today, I lost my rifle. What do I do?"

The sergeant favors him with a few comments not fit for a polite newsgroup, then he looks around and finds an old broomstick.

"OK," he says, "Any German soldier who sticks his head up, you point this at him and go 'bangity-bangity.'"

"That won't work!" replies the private, but the sergeant tells him to just do it.

The private says, "Yeah, but what if we get to hand-to-hand combat?"

The sergeant looks around and finds a butter knife, and ties it to the end of the broomstick. He says, "If the Germans come in close, you go 'stabity-stabity' with this."

At sunrise the Germans attack in hordes. There's shouting and screaming and shooting and dying going on all around. In the middle of this chaos, the private stands up and starts going "bangity- bangity." And it seems to be having some effect! So he goes "bangity-bangity," "bangity-bangity," "bangity-bangity-bangity."

Well, he's just murdering the Germans. He's mowing them down with that broomstick. But still they keep coming. He goes "stabity-stabity" at the ones who get close, and they start bleeding and dying all around.

Pretty soon, he's the only American left alive. There are piles of dead bodies all around him. He shoots the last few Germans with his broomstick, and an unearthly quiet settles on the battlefield.

Then he notices this one lone German soldier off in the distance, coming toward him. The German isn't shooting at the American, just sort of shuffling along straight for him.

The American private lets him get within easy broomstick range, and then he goes "bangity-bangity." No effect.

"Bangity-bangity."

Nothing.

The German's still not shooting, he's sort of mumbling to himself, still coming. When he gets close the American goes "stabity-stabity," but that doesn't work either.

The German walks right up to the American, pushes him over, walks on top of him and keeps going. That little ol' German crushes the hell out of the American just by stepping on him.

And as he's lying there, the life draining from his body, he can hear the German heading away, mumbling "tankity-tankity."



Game # 8827, Sephorin, AXIS. v.s. Rewstr, ALLIES.

"Look, sir! There's the Russian capital!"
"What's guarding it?"
"Uh. An anti-aircraft gun..."
"Walk faster, damn you!"
Japanese bomber destroys grounded ftr in Yak but gets clipped by Russian pilot's baseball bat (standard Soviet issue), goes down in flames. Authorities confirm the Japanese bomber pilot was not aware he was embarking on a suicide run (the Emperor knows the Russians swing a mean
baseball bat).

Japanese troops stand stupefied in Moscow, staring at the empty streets.
"No Russia’s in Russia Capital?"
"No Russia’s."
"Russia’s have strange ways."

Ah, the Russians are there... The Japanese just don't know where...

S.S. Well the Russians are all at the local batting cages practicing for the German invasion



Game # 8877 GroeFaZ, AXIS. v.s. Flying Fortress ALLIES.

My name is John, thanks for the challenge. Good luck and I hope you have fun.

regards

Hello John,

my name is Jochen; I live in Cologne, Germany. I wish you average dice (the same for me) so that this game is fairly decided.
And can you guess what happens..
YEP!!!!

Well I tried but the dice took the advantage away. bad rolls, I agree. This makes it very hard for the allies.

This game looks real bad for me. I'll play for a bit and see what happens
*** WOW! What kind of inable guys where there at work? I just stared and rolled and stared and rolled and couldn't believe it. Held with 1 Inf
S.S. once again the dice rule



Game # 8893. Sohoa, AXIS. v.s. cnty9047, ALLIES.
:
labsz-1t,W/1f/F/we
sz cleared with heavy loss ftr fly’s into Canadian geese engine stalls . ftr crashes into transport
as the crew were watching what they thought was a funny sight. Ship sinks with the laughing german pilot who was stuck in his plane. Still do not know what he had to laugh about.
S.S. See now this is funny



Game # 8938. Mr Chaos, AXIS. v.s. heil harney, ALLIES.

And now !!! the months worst ,move

Rus: AA - 1 Bmb from Bur - SBR
* News Flash: Brave Japanese Bomber blown out of the skies over Russia, more at 11:00
* Note: That was reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally dumb of me, cuz you had no AA gun Kar. Duh!!!

S.S. not the dice rollers fault this time


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